Updated: Sep 10, 2020
Sooo I've been married for like a little over one week now ! ^__^ I just feel like its such a new beginning in one's life so why not document it. Especially that I don't know shxt about being married or what tf to expect so this should be fun. :)
My husband and I received pre-marital counseling with the officiant for our ceremony a week before our wedding. She was recommended to me by my mother's friend, this woman was AMAZING. First off being a wild child, meeting with any persons of strong religious backgrounds and beliefs is nerve wrecking for me. Only because typically persons in that lifestyle are judgemental but refreshingly Mrs.Hastings was not. Not to mention when we met I was wearing baggy sweats and a halter crop top with no bra, (only because we were ut prior and i forgot about the evening meeting when getting dressed that morning). We met at a coffee shop in our local mall, my husband & I just smoked a joint to kinda off set the nerves. I had spoke to Mrs Hastings on the phone prior to meeting to set up a place and time from that phone conversation I knew that she was young and I knew that she was black just by the sound of her voice. That was my first sigh of relief lol. (though not excusable for inappropriate or lax behavior but it was a small space of comfort for me). Instantly upon meeting Mrs. Hastings face to face came my second sigh of relief, her cleavage was showing out of a long beautiful blue patterned summer dress ! LOL at that moment I knew I could let my hair down. We all talked for a bit to get to know each other before she continued with counseling and tips for a long lasting and happy marriage. Ofc I had questions on how tf a wedding goes down and who walks when and who says what and when does who and all that sht cus I really had no clue. I told her we wanted something short and sweet, not a long drawn out ceremony. Our vows to each other were perfect and also short and sweet. "I promise, To Honor you as my spouse To trust you as my friend To love you as myself To laugh out loud when I hear your voice. 'This I Vow'." My pastor also recommended for us to read "5 Love Language" by Gary Chapman, at least one chapter a month and thats what really pushed me to want to write this blog. I ordered the book on Amazon, it came, I started reading it first.. and after reading the first four chapters I'm just like wow, damn, my husband expresses his love for me through these 5 love languages already, naturally. He does not need this book, its me, I need it lol. If youre not familiar with the 5 love languages they are - Words of Affirmation - Quality Time - Acts of Service - Receiving Gifts - Physical Touch - and the idea is that all humans, both children and adults need love to be expressed or 'spoken' to them through one of these love languages in order to really 'feel' and comprehend the love. So like you could be buying your bae gifts to show you love them but thats not speaking to bae if bae's language is quality time or words of affirmation. So in order to get your love through to bae you need to speak bae's love language. So yeah, that's what that is, and I'm like damn I'm so grateful for that in him, I'm also grateful I got to marry someone I can call my best friend, who knows all my secrets insecurities and still loves me and is like super into me. It's so cool. We're moving to out of town next week because of my job and it's like one month we're getting married and like the next we're moving. Shit is wild to be honest. But I'm happy. And I love that I came up with this idea to blog because its a new form of expression for me, regardless if anyone reads it or not. I decided to start this blog in a moment where I realize I still needed growth in not necessarily loving someone unconditionally but EXPRESSING my love for someone uunconditionally. And not just expressing my love to someone as my friend, sister or neighbor but as my fucking husband ! Theres no fckn handbook on how to do that but the 5 Love Languages comes close, and though I don't agree with all morals in the book the basics are a great foundation to start with. And here I am ready to share with the world how I love, how I'm learning to EXPRESS my love, and the outcomes of experiences in my BXMBOCLXXT MARRAIGE ! ^__^ Anyways , welcome, stay tuned, subscibe to my email list on the site and stay safe !